


The Ten Things Series

by Insidiae



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: F/M, Lists, M/M, Other, really this is more of a porn character meme than anything else lbr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-08 00:48:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/755039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insidiae/pseuds/Insidiae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten things you should know about each of the team members (and maybe Saxton and Miss Pauling and others if I ever get to them) if you want to bone them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scout

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Scout:

1\. Scout is almost always willing to have sex, if not exactly in the mood for it. It’s not as though he lives in a constant state of arousal - that would be rather distracting during missions, to say the least. Still, he is young, and is therefore gifted with an abundance of hormones. It doesn’t take much to convince him, because in the end, Scout sees sex for what it is: a good way to relieve stress, and something that is much more fun to do with a friend than all alone.

2\. Secretly, Scout prefers to bottom, but don’t you ever suggest that to his face. He does, after all, have his pride. Growing up with seven brothers taught him to always fight tooth and claw to stay on top, and in his mind, the physical exertion of fucking is not so very different from the brawls he used to have with his siblings. The best thing to do is to pin him down. He’ll be happy to be in the position he prefers, and also satisfied that he at least put up a good fight instead of bending over and asking to take it up the ass like a total poofter.   
  
If by some chance he manages to come out on top, don’t worry. There’ll be a moment of smug victory, followed closely by a pause of uncertainty and true bafflement as to what he should do next. Use that moment of hesitation to turn the tables.   
  
3\. He does not like the French. Do not try to sleep with him if you fall into this category.   
  
You know who you are.   
  
(And don’t try to disguise yourself, he can feel the paper in your mask and smell the smoke on your breath.)   
  
4\. Being young and adventurous, Scout is eager to experiment and try new things. There are, however, a few things that just don’t sit well with him. Surprisingly, bondage is one of them. Scout’s willing to do a lot of kinky shit, but his skin crawls at the thought of being tied up. He was born to run, to jump, to move, and the ability to do so is just something he’s not comfortable giving up.   
  
5\. Like in all other things, Scout is quick when it comes to sex. He will come before you.   
  
Every time.   
  
Just keep fucking him through his orgasm. He’ll be hard again in no time.   
  
6\. On the rare occasion that Scout is actually too sensitive to keep going after coming, he will make you stop, but he will also make it up to you later in the form of the best blowjob you’ll ever have.   
  
On that note, it should be mentioned that Scout loves to suck dick, though not for the reasons you may think. Keep in mind a preference for bottoming doesn’t necessarily mean a preference for being submissive. Scout likes to suck cock because he knows that when your dick is in his mouth, he owns you, and that gets him off like nobody’s business.   
  
7\. Sometimes Scout gets terribly lonely. It’s at these times that he needs sex to be the roughest.   
  
Be gentle with him and it’ll break his heart. Fuck him into the ground, and he’ll remember that he’s still alive.   
  
8\. Do not make the mistake of thinking Scout is stupid. No, he’s not the most book smart young man to ever live, but he has enough street smarts to make up for it.   
  
If you want to have sex, you don’t have to say anything. He’ll know the look in your eyes, the same look his brothers would wear when an attractive woman passed them, the same look he sees in his own eyes when staring into a mirror on long, cold nights. He knows.   
  
He also understands.   
  
9\. Nothing is more important than the Red Sox. Nothing. Not the mission, not the intel, and most certainly not your cock. If you interrupt Scout during a Sox game just because you’re horny, be prepared to have your dick shot or batted off.   
  
(And yes, a penis can be batted off. Scout has done it before, and he will do it again.)   
  
10\. In the end, Scout is and always will be Scout. Shoving a cock in his mouth won’t really shut him up; plowing him into a mattress won’t stop him from yelling, harder, chucklenuts, faster, you weak cockfag. He’s a conceited, provocative, shitty little brat, but is also one of the best lays around.   
  
You’ll want to grip his hips until they bruise to let everyone else know that you were, you had this, because Scout is just that good. You’ll also want to punch him in the face for somehow managing to be a cocky, pushy son of a bitch even when he’s panting so hard he can barely breathe.   
  
Basicially, he’s sort of a big deal.   
  
And that’s kind of wonderful.


	2. Heavy

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Heavy

1\. Sex, for Heavy, is sort of like a form of maintenance, which is why he’s almost unbearably gentle at times. To him, the human body is not so very different from the complicated machinery of his guns. Both need a little TLC from time to time to keep them in perfect running order.   
  
2\. However, if you’re looking for penetrative sex, Heavy is just not your guy. He’s never seen the appeal of it, whether it’s giving or receiving. Heavy enjoys other pleasures – hand jobs are great, but he’s especially fond of intercrural sex. The smooth slide of skin over skin – as opposed to the rough intrusion of penetration – is the best feeling in the world.   
  
3\. Heavy is a romantic at heart. You don’t need to promise to marry the guy, but a flower? Some candles? They go a long way.   
  
4\. Heavy cuddles. Hope you don’t have plans for after sex, because you’re not going anywhere.   
  
5\. Surprisingly, Heavy is a quiet lover. It isn’t that he’s not passionate; rather, he’s scared.   
  
Heavy is an amalgamation of languages. There’s Russian, of course, and English, but also German, Polish, and a little bit of French.   
  
Dorogoĭ. Liebling. Kochanie. Cheri. Love.   
  
He doesn’t want to call out the wrong name.   
  
6\. On that note, it should probably be mentioned that he falls a little bit in love with everyone he sleeps with. Not a deep, obsessive live, nor a heartbreaking, tragic love, but a genuine love, nonetheless. He can’t help it; sex is the best way to intimately know a person, and once he’s at that point, why not go just one step further?   
  
7\. Heavy has a lot of love to go around. He lives by the motto, “the more the merrier,” and tries to follow it in every aspect of his life. This is just one of those times when you need to be blunt.   
  
If you don’t want to have an orgy, just say so to his face. He won’t get it, otherwise.   
  
8\. Because he never took to English that well (it was, after all, his fourth language), Heavy is often mistaken for being as slow mentally as he is physically. The truth is, he’s quite the intellectual.   
  
In post-coital conversation, he likes to wax philosophic, whether it be Marx and Lenin, Herzen and Chaadaev, or Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. Whether you listen or participate in the discourse is up to you.   
  
He just needs someone to talk to.   
  
9\. Under his bed, Heavy keeps a constant stash of vodka that could rival Demoman’s supply of Scrumpy. This he saves for the nights when the homesickness gets to be too much for him.   
  
On these nights, you can still have sex, but you should just be aware that when he’s jerking you off, he’s looking for home in your arms.   
  
10\. Whatever else you want to say about him, Heavy is warmer than any blanket on a cold night.   
  
And cold nights come often in this war.


	3. Demoman

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Demoman

1\. The real reason Demoman wears a long sleeve in the midst of battle (and really, any time he can get away with it) is because his wrists are huge erogenous zones. Properly stimulating his wrists is the best way to have him panting in your lap in no time.   
  
2\. He really, really likes to see his partners in kilts. Yes, it’s weird, but it’s a thing of his. He enjoys connecting his heritage to his sex; just stop him before he pulls out the bagpipes.   
  
3\. Yes, someone has tried to fuck his eye socket before. No, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Yes, he was very drunk at the time.   
  
….No, he would not like to try it again.   
  
4\. With a $5 million annual paycheck, Demoman likes to lavish gifts onto his partners. As nice as the presents are, at some point, you’ll probably decide that enough is enough. Just explain to him that you can enough fun without a solid jade cock ring, and he’ll understand.   
  
5\. On the topic of cock rings, Demoman really gets off on denial. Not his – yours. The panting, the writhing, the twisting on top of the covers – Demoman loves to exert that kind of power over his bedmates. He loves that control.   
  
6\. The one bit of control he will concede is his vision, and this only happens on the extremely rare occasion. Being blindfolded doesn’t do much for Demoman physically, but at the emotional level, he appreciates the equalizing effect.   
  
After all, through a blindfold, he wouldn’t be able to see any better even if he had two working eyes.   
  
7\. Mostly, though, he prefers to keep his eye wide open, watching the connection of his body with that of another. Demoman loves the play between his flesh and that of his partners, his dark skin contrasting with their (usually) fairer tones.   
  
8\. Sex used to mean something to Demoman. Something important. Mama DeGroot taught him about honour and chivalry, about self-respect and loyalty, and though Demoman took her words to heart, that was all before this war happened. Now he lives in a constant state of inebriation and most of his romps in the hay are just dots on a long line of drunken mistakes.   
  
Demoman usually has sex in a blurred haze, drowning in his Scrumpy. These fucks are empty and meaningless and rarely acknowledged. So when he’s sober, if he has sex, you should realize that that’s not fucking.   
  
That’s love.   
  
9\. Demoman doesn’t stick around very long after sex. He has things to do, bombs to make, scotch to drink. He also doesn’t sit well with lying in his own sweat, so bonus points if you have a shower that he can clean up in peacefully.   
  
Be aware that Demoman sings in the shower, too. The rest of team quickly came to recognize that hearing the broken strains of “Auld Lang Syne” over the sound of falling water means Demoman just got lucky.   
  
10\. Due to the nature of his job, Demoman is a gambler. He risks it all, and sometimes he loses it all. If you’re also willing to bet with him, then maybe it’ll work out. Maybe you’ll win.   
  
But it’s always a gamble. 


	4. Sniper

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Sniper

1\. Sniper prefers to do the deed in the dark. It’s not that he’s embarrassed or self-conscious; he’s just tired. After spending the entire behind a scope, his eyes need a rest, and when the darkness of night slips over his retinas, to him it feels like the slide of silk on skin. 

  
2\. To make up for not seeing anything, Sniper becomes very handsy. He maps out trails on chests and thighs, memorizing the topography of your body.   
  
3\. Growing up on the outback left Sniper with dubious ideas of hygiene. When he has sex, he never bothers to clean up beforehand, and often you can still feel a layer of dirt and sweat from his day’s work.   
  
4\. Jarate isn’t just for the battlefield.   
  
5\. Despite his well-deserved confidence as an assassin, Sniper is actually quite clumsy in the bedroom. The outback can be a lonely place, and while he’s well acquainted with his right hand, add in another person and suddenly everything goes to hell in a handbasket.   
  
He needs guidance. Be patient with him – he’s a fast learner.   
  
6\. Sniper will rarely make the first move. He may be able to shoot a coin out of the sky a mile away, but his ability to read other people often leaves something to be desired. Rather than put his neck on the line, he prefers to wait for others to approach him – however long that wait might be.   
  
7\. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hope. In fact, he has a whole room dedicated to his hopes in the back of his van. His parents gave him his camper as gift for his eighteenth birthday, and ever since then, he’s been sinking money into it to make it as perfect as he can. His biggest splurge was on his slide-out bedroom, complete with quilted queen-size bed.   
  
As it stands, he might not have had as many sexual adventures on it as he may have hoped, but it is, at least, considerably better than any bed Redmond or Blutarch provide.   
  
8\. In the heat of doing the deed, Sniper has a tendency to slip back into his slang. It may not mean much to you, but “cracking a fat” is a good thing in this case, and should he ever say, “Harder, harder  _av-a-go-yer-mug!_ ” while tugging on your shoulders, well, just pay attention to the first part.   
  
9\. Sniper has been a smoker for as long as he can remember, and remains quite fond of a post-coital cigarette. Whenever asked, he will claim that it adds to the atmosphere, but one look at his blessed-out face should be all it takes it tell you that the combination nicotine and orgasms is his own personal heaven, that no number of headshots could ever equal.   
  
10\. Sniper works in contradictions. On the one hand, he is the perfect professional, executing his targets politely, efficiently, and with a plan; he treats his peers with respect and level-headedly. On the other hand, he’s a bushie who suffers from more than a little social ineptitude and wouldn’t know sophistication if it shot him in the face or stabbed him in the back (and Spy has tried several times).   
  
The bottom line is that being with Sniper is like walking a tightrope. Risky, and leaning too far in either direction could lead you plummeting to your death, but strike the right balance and it can be the most exhilarating experience of your life.

 


	5. Spy

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Spy

1\. The first thing you need to know is that Spy has gotten more tail in his relatively short career than most people get in a lifetime. His job has taken him across the world, and his charm has landed him in the beds of hundreds, both men and women. Spy excels at what he knows best, and sex? Is something of which he has experience in spades.   
  
2\. As much as possible, Spy likes to fuck from behind. It may be a bit paranoid, but he feels more comfortable when he can keep his eyes on his partner’s back.   
  
3\. You have to understand; Spy just has certain facial features that he’s attracted to. Most of the time, these traits are passed on from parent to child, so when Spy finds someone he finds physically appealing, it’s not rare for him to find the same traits attractive in their families.   
  
(He’ll win you yet, boy. Just you wait.)   
  
4\. Spy tries to always videotape his sexual encounters, whether or not his partner is aware of the camera. Part of this is because the narcissist in him likes watching himself during his alone time, but mostly it’s because you never know when you’re going to need to blackmail someone.   
  
5\. The balisong isn’t just a knife to Spy – it’s an extension of himself. He wields that blade like he was born with it. He loves to watch the light glint off of it as it flashes across skin – not penetrating, just gliding over. It’s the adrenaline Spy loves, not the blood, whether it’s him on the end of that knife or someone else.   
  
6\. In order to properly do his job – to truly disguise himself as another – Spy sometimes has to twist himself in all sorts of uncomfortable ways. It’s rare that he’ll go that far for sex, but if you can manage to convince him to contort for you – well, let’s just say that some of the shapes he can force his body into are, ahem, impressive.   
  
7\. Unsurprisingly, Spy likes to roleplay in bed. Seventy-five percent of his job is to pretend to be other people, and after several years he’s found that not only is he a good actor, but it’s also something he enjoys doing. The acting of playing a role in itself brings him great pleasure and excitement, whether it be something contrite and cliché, like a French maid or demanding boss, or a role that requires a bit more skill.   
  
8\. For Spy, there is almost as much pleasure in removing a costume as in putting one on. He adores the act of stripping: the slow, sensual slide of fine cloth over his skin; the sharp bite of cold air on newly exposed flesh. He appreciates it as the art form he knows it can be.   
  
He ends a role when he takes off a costume, but that only means the start of a new one. Stripping is as much a performance as any other part of his life, and he appreciates the attention it garners him.   
  
9\. But no matter what role he plays, what costume he wears, the one thing that will never, ever change is the balaclava. You will never see him take it off. He lives in it, eats in it, showers in it, fucks in it, sleeps in it. At some point, it stopped being a mask, and became his face.   
  
10\. Spy is a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles, lovingly sprinkled with intrigue, express mailed to Mystery, Alaska. He keeps his secrets close to his heart, has eyes and ears everywhere, and never truly relaxes.   
  
You may never really know what he’s thinking, but maybe that’s okay. Where it counts, his actions speak loud enough for the truths his mouth refuses to reveal. 


	6. Engineer

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Engineer

1\. Engineer is a gentleman. He believes in relationships, and doing things right proper. Oh sure, the sex is nice – the sex is /really/ nice – but it don’t matter a bit if there’s no feeling behind it.   
  
2\. He finds intelligence to be damn sexy, which really isn’t all that surprising. The man does have eleven hard science PhDs, after all. Anyway, the point is that Engineer is turned on by more than just a hot body.   
  
3\. Which isn’t to say that hot bodies don’t have their place with him. In fact, don’t tell anyone, but Engineer is a bit of size queen. He supposes it probably has something to do with his being so short, but it may equally be part of the Texan mentality: bigger is better.   
  
4\. Of course, the whole size thing is a double-edged sword with Engineer, who, in many cases, is just looking for the strongest person to try his new inventions against. This rings especially true in regards to the Gunslinger.   
  
Here’s the thing: Engineer has searched long and hard, but there is just not a single submissive bone in his body, and nothing pleases him more than rolling on top of his partner and pinning them down to whatever hard surface they happen to be on with the long, nimble fingers of the Gunslinger. The robotic hand is his chef d’oeuvre, his masterpiece; it has the agility of a pianist’s hands and all of the force and power of a semi and in his control it can provide both the softest caresses and the strongest holds.   
  
5\. Though the Gunslinger is his favorite, it is far from the only toy he has for the bedroom. Engineer’s goal is to invent devices that make life easier, and while most of his efforts go to his team, he makes an effort to mix work with pleasure.   
  
(But in all seriousness, no one makes a better vibrator than him.)   
  
6\. Engineer is nothing if not resourceful. His whole thing is looking at problems and finding practical solutions to them. He also can appreciate the various uses a single object can have.   
  
Take duct tape, for example. On the one hand, it is an excellent industrial adhesive that can keep all of his wires in their proper places.   
  
On the other hand, it can also be used to keep someone’s hands attached firmly to, oh, a headboard, for instance. Just saying.   
  
7\. Engineer love love loves electricity. It’s what sparked his passion for science in the first place, and to this very day, few things delight him quite like watching the leaps between positive and negative charges.   
  
Electricity is what keeps all his machines hopping, and, after a bit of experimenting, Engineer discovered that it could make people hop, too. Now he keeps a violet wand under his bed for special occasions. It’s a pretty little thing in the shape of a rake, and little jolts of electricity spark out of each of its teeth. Engineer always grins when he uses it, unable to hold back when watching his bedmates jump.   
  
8\. The Respectless Rubber Glove is a thing that exists. Neither Engineer nor Pyro have any desire to discuss how it got its name, or how it ended up in Pyro’s possession.   
  
9\. Engineer really does enjoy taking care of his partners. He is well aware that his preferences in bed can put most people through the wringer, so he puts it upon himself to take care of them afterwards.   
  
He takes a special pleasure in washing his partners, most of whom are too exhausted to move post-coitus. He keeps a towel near the sink next to his bed, and he relishes wiping down his bedmates after a romp. Making them presentable again.   
  
Practical solutions for practical problems.   
  
10\. As cool as he plays himself to be in the real world, behind closed doors Engineer is honestly kind of a hot mess. He’s a perfect gentleman in the wooing stage, but once he’s got you in his bed, it’s a whole different story. Really, it’s all very Jekyll and Hyde, except with less murder (on most days) and more sex.   
  
But he guesses some people are into that, and if it’s okay with them, well, it’s just fine by him.

 


	7. Medic

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Medic

 

1\. Medic’s attitude in bed is pretty much what you’d expect it to be, given his attitude on the battlefield. True, he accepted the job from the Mann brothers because he didn’t have anywhere else to go, but the fact that Medic gets off on blood was an added bonus – one that carries over to the bedroom. He doesn’t feel quite the same desire to hack apart his bed partners as he does his enemies, but blood still acts as his ultimate aphrodisiac. A split lip, deep lines scratched on a pale back, or an abdomen just nicked with a scalpel can get Medic “fully charged” faster than anything else.   
  
2\. Zhe hurting might be more satisfying zhan zhe healing, but that’s a fairly one-way street. As fond as he is of inflicting a bit of pain on others, he is far less keen on being on the receiving end of it – especially if it leaves a mark. Medic belongs to no one, and the punishment for trying to brand him can be less than pleasant.   
  
3\. Hidden under his left glove rests a wedding ring. Medic’s relationship with his wife is unconventional at best, but it works for them. The feeling they hold towards one another is probably the closest either will ever get to love, but it’s not enough that they feel chained to each other.   
  
Both of them have numerous affairs and neither of them cares. Their marriage is a business, not a romance, and their partnership only came about thanks to a mutual understanding that neither of them are compatible with monogamy.   
  
(He does wish she’d choose someone besides that drunken Cyclops, though.)   
  
4\. But don’t worry – you’ll never see the ring. Medic refuses to take his clothes during sex. He sees no reason to make something as simple as fucking so personal; it just makes things messy, and Medic does hate mess.   
  
5\. Like any good man of science, Medic is always interested in experimentation, and that includes in sex.   
  
You just have to agree to be the guinea pig.   
  
6\. The restraints are for your own protection.   
  
7\. Medic is a manipulator. Armed with an expert’s knowledge of human anatomy and deft hands borne from years of surgical precision, Medic can turn a routine check-up into much more before you even know what’s happening. His fingers know how to subtly caress the inside of a thigh, the pulse on a neck, and the arch of a foot – what should be innocent touches, but end up being straight shots of arousal. And once you’re in that state, it’s only his duty as your doctor to help you relieve your tension.   
  
Of course, as his patient, he will expect you to… pay him back for services rendered, but that can come later, so just relax and let him take care of you – this won’t hurt a bit.   
  
8\. Often, Medic will refuse to touch during sex. Much of the time he prefers to just watch, to observe like a good man of science. Getting more directly involved skews data collection and creates personal biases; when he dedicates himself to just observing, his keen eyes never miss a single detail.   
  
9\. As much as Medic disdains unnecessary displays of feeling, he cannot escape his own emotions, and most of them are quite frankly rooted in rage. Medic is not a kind or gentle bed partner, and to expect him to show any sign of tenderness from beginning to end is to be a fool.   
  
10\. Medic is at his core a scientist, and the only relationship he has the time or patience for is his marriage to his work. He doesn’t care about your feelings, and he will always view more as a test subject than partner.  
  
But that doesn’t stop the sex from being fantastic.


	8. Pyro

Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Pyro

 

1\. Pyro was born intersexed; specifically, as a child with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. Although Pyro looked like a girl, hormonally, reproductively, and genotypically, the child was male, and in a decision that made her husband very uneasy, Pyro’s mother – a very progressive woman for her time – chose to raise her child as neither male nor female.

For the most part, it doesn’t bother Pyro, but sometimes zie can’t help but wonder where zie fits in.

2\. But honestly, Pyro has more to worry about than the fleeting moments of body dysphoria.  Really, that only becomes a problem with potential partners if they can manage to get past the horrible burn scarring over fifty percent of hir body.

See, when zie was kid, Pyro had a bad habit of literally playing with fire.  One day zie did it a little too close to gas station, and, well, boom.

It didn’t stop hir love of fire, but it did have a lasting impact.

3\. As they say, though, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen, and Pyro never could stay away from the fire.  After the accident, Pyro’s mother tried to get hir to play with fire in safer ways, taking away hir flamethrower and replacing it with candles.  At first, Pyro was incredibly put out, but then zie discovered  _wax._

Now there are few things Pyro enjoys more than the feeling of hot, liquid wax sliding down hir skin, spreading in a lava-like trail that reawakens dead, scarred nerve endings Pyro never thought zie would feel again.

4\. Pyro spends all day, everyday inside a hot rubber suit and after all these years latex has become something like a second skin to hir.  That’s why Pyro likes to layer it onto hir bed partners.

There is just something incredibly intimate about painting another person from head to toe in skintight latex and then ripping it all off them.  If they’re willing to return the favour, well, even better.

5\. After being burned so badly, Pyro became pretty heavy into body modification – it makes hir feel like zie had some control over the way zie looks.  Pyro is particularly fond of branding for all the same reasons that zie likes the wax -  the bright, beautiful pain of it, the intense power behind the iron – and now has seven brands: one on hir chest, two on each arm, and one on either side of hir hips, on the small portion of hir skin there that hadn’t already been burned beyond repair before.

As much as zie loves being branded, what Pyro really hopes is that one day, zhe’ll find someone who trusts hir enough to let hir return the favour.

6\. Pyro is ambidextrous.  While this becomes most helpul when Pyro wants to switch quickly from the flamethrower to the Axetinguisher, it has its uses outside of battle, too.

7\. The gas station incident caused irreparable damage to Pyro’s lungs, resulting in several pulmonary conditions.  You would think that this might give Pyro some anxiety about strenuous activity, but the truth is quite the opposite; in fact, Pyro quite enjoys being choked – just little – during sex.

Yes, Pyro can admit to being a bit of a masochist, but zie like hir pain sharp and hot.  After so much exposure to flames on the outside, Pyro appreciates the way a little choking can make hir burn on the inside.

8\. Pyro doesn’t trust easy, and there’s a reason zie keeps hir identity covered.  If you do start something with Pyro, you better not be into public displays of affection, because it just isn’t going to happen.

9\. With very few exceptions, Pyro will request to be gagged during sex.  Partly this is because Pyro is a screamer and knows it, but mostly it is because zie doesn’t want anyone to hear hir real voice.  After spending so much time hiding behind a rubber suit, it feels strange to Pyro to just open everything up – legs, heart, and mouth.

10\. Pyro is a giant, jumbled ball of fire fetishes wrapped in a coating of terrible body image.  Getting through hir defenses can be a challenge both on and off the battlefield, but at least in the case of the latter, it can be well worth it.


End file.
